Girls go through a serious love hate relationship with their periods. If they get it when they’re young, they hate it and don’t understand what it means. If they still haven’t got it by the age of 17 its common to cry tears of joy realising everything is working fine. But then, through pregnancy scares, wanting babies and menopause, it is a serious roller coaster ride of emotions!
There are rare times when a female wishes she had her period. Actually, scratch that — there is absolutely one time and one time only, and that is when she’s late.
A girl might not even have had sex since her last cycle, and her first concern would be that she’s pregnant.
I mean, what else are you supposed to think when Aunt Flo is fashionably late for her arrival?
So what do these ridiculous, accurate and rampant thoughts look like?
1. I haven’t had sex with a guy in six years, but I’m definitely pregnant.
2. Am I pro-choice?
3. Maybe this means I’ve lost a lot of weight recently… actually no, that definitely is not the case.
4. Oh god, maybe it means I’ve put ON weight!
5. When do you tell the guy you’re worried?
6. Is it too late for Plan B?
7. Should I down half a pack of birth control pills?
8. I wonder whose kid this even could be?
9. Haha wow, what a reality check.
10. Will drinking make me forget?
11. Is that even safe?
12. Do I really care at this point?
13. I’ve been under a lot of stress recently. That could definitely be it.
14. Do I wait it out another week?
15. Should I just suck it up and get a pregnancy test?
16. OMG. This is terrifying.
17. Of course, the only time I want to bleed, I can’t.
18. WHAT HAVE I DONE TO DESERVE THIS?!
19. Periods are like taxis; when you’re looking for them, you never get them.
20. Should I tell my mum?
21. No I definitely should not.
22. This is the first time I actually wouldn’t care if I ruined my underwear.
23. Or my sheets.
24. Or my overly expensive white skinny jeans.
25. Or my comforter.
26. Or my office chair.
27. What’s the cheapest pregnancy test I could buy?
28. Umm, $30 is absolutely ridiculous.
29. I guess it’s cheaper than the other option.
30. This sucks.
31. I’m never having sex again.
32. How am I going to hit a Planned Parenthood to get checked without anyone seeing me?!
33. Thank God I’m not a Kardashian.
34. Oh great bikini season is coming up… and I just ordered a $200 bikini online!
35. I already feel fat — DEFINITELY pregnant.
36. Please God, please, please, please don’t make me pregnant. I swear I’ll never sleep with a guy on the third date again.
37. Oh thank god. It’s here!!!
38. Erghhh seriously? I like JUST bought these new lacey undies last week.
39. This is so annoying.
40. Periods suck.
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