If you didn’t already know, back in the early 2000’s ie) The Hot 30’s Days, Kyle used to do a spot in Dolly Magazine called ‘The Kyle Files’.

Which was pretty much a space for him to give his opinion and share advice (uh oh.)

Awkward Ash went on a mission to the State Library to dig up the old content and came across one of his articles!

You can read it in it’s original glory right here:

“For some strange reason we dream and look forward to our school holidays all year long, only to realise, once we’re actually on holidays, just how bloody boring they really are.

Sure, the first week or so is cool; sleeping in till lunch time, hanging out in your tracksuit all day, eating whatever and whenever you like without the sudden jolt of the school bell ringing it’s arse off and dictating to you from above. But, to tell you the truth, after a while I always ended up hating the holidays. I missed all my friends, and most of all, I missed that big social experiment they call the school grounds.

The worst holidays of all are had by those poor kids that are dragged off by their parents to some craphole caravan park in some remote country town for five weeks. Oh my God. That was me; every holidays without fail, my whole family – that would be Mum, Dad, my little brother and myself would pile into the family Holden, hook up the embarrassment of a boat that my dad owned and head off to paradise … yeah right!

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My parent’s idea of paradise with 5 weeks at the Bongaree Caravan Park on Queensland’s Bribie Island. I was 15 years old, my little brother was 11, and all we had for entertainment were two rusty BMX bikes that we would hire off this dodgy old local bike hire dude who always smelt like fish and bait. Gross, I know… but, nevertheless, that’s all we had.

Until one day when I ran into a girl who lived on the island. Her name was… well, actually, I can’t seem to remember her name, but who cares, really? She was the shining light of the holiday season and it was love at first sight for me. She was a shy-looking hottie, and I knew that the holidays would be getting a lot better from this moment onwards.

She had lived on the island her entire life and knew every special spot to take me to – and take me she did! Suddenly my terrible holiday destination had turned into a make-out heaven. I feel a little sorry for my younger brother though, who I dumped and left to fend for himself, but hey, we all would have done the same thing.

Pashing on the beach, rolling on the sand hills – we did it all. Well, we did a few things. But all of a sudden, I was having the time of my life. I was in love and as far as I was concerned, I was never going to leave the island. Ever.

Then one day I woke up to the sound of my parents packing.

“What the hell’s going on?” I asked. “We’re going home today,” were the words that rolled off my mother’s tongue with absolute delight. I was devastated. What was I going to do? What about my true love? How could my parents take me away from this paradise?

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Before I knew it, the car was packed, the crap boat was attached to the back of the car again and we were off. We were leaving the island and I hadn’t even had the chance to see my lovely or tell her that I was leaving… I cried for most of the hour-long car trip home and never got the chance to see her ever again.

I still wonder what happened to her. Is she happy out there somewhere or is she still sitting on the beach waiting for me to return? I guess I’ll never know. A week later I was back at school with my friends and what’s-her-name was only a memory.

I really wish I could remember her name though… hey, I’ve got it – it was Chrissie. Sweet, Chrissie.

It turns out that the holidays really are what you make out of them, so enjoy what little time you have left of the holidays because before you know it, you’ll be back at school and dying for them to happen again”.

Incredible journalism from Kyle.

You can listen to the whole segment on the show below!

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