Last night during The Bachelor finale things didn’t really work out the way that Abbie Chatfield was expecting them to.

Throughout the episode she remained extremely confident, telling the cameras that she was sure it would be her and Matt at the end.

But unfortunately, Matt had to break the news to Abbie that his heart was with someone else, sending her home at the end of the episode.

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The only way I can describe this moment is complete and utter shock. I was numb. I couldn’t and didn’t want to feel anything. I had felt for weeks that what Matt and I had was real and I trusted him wholeheartedly when he told me how he felt about me. From Hometowns, I forgot the cameras were there. It didn’t feel like we were filming a show at all, it felt like we had this real relationship built in a little bubble of “The Bachelor” and we would be out soon and able to live a normal life. Hearing Matt say “my heart is with someone else” reminded me that we were filming and that Matt had to make a difficult decision, and he did not see in me what I saw in him. I felt silly for ever imagining Matt would love me. It was like emotional whiplash. I was so confused and it felt like I was in a dystopian reality. The second the cameras turned off, I sobbed. I screamed. I couldn’t breathe. I didn’t think think this would be how we would end. I spent weeks crying about this relationship that had almost no closure. I still haven’t fully healed from my relationship with Matt, but I know he and the gorgeous woman he is with are happy, and that’s all that matters. #thebachelorau

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While Abbie tried to put on a brave face for the cameras, saying things like “maybe I didn’t actually love him” and “I’ll get over this before it even airs”, it turns out that the tough act was just that. An act.

Abbie joined Kyle and Jackie O this morning to chat about the devastating moment when she admitted that she actually broke down while watching the episode back last night and that she hasn’t fully recovered since that day in South Africa.

“Did you watch it last night or was it too tough to watch?” Jackie asked.

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“No I did watch it last night,” Abbie told us. “I had a bit of a break down when I watched my last single date with Matt.”

“Oh you cried?” Kyle asked.

“I had a huge cry. So I was watching my publicist and he left the room for ten minutes to take a phone call and I was fine, and he came back and I was like screaming into my luggage,” Abbie revealed.

“And yeah, so it’s still pretty rough.”

As for why Abbie tried to put on such a brave face at first and actually questioned whether she had feelings for Matt at all after he dumped her, she said that she was just in complete denial.

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“My emotional deal at first, I think I was just trying to convince myself, but I cried the whole way home and I’ve been crying for the last four months,” she continued.

“Every time I get a photo sent of myself and Matt or I upload something or I have to write a caption, I’m at least a little teary.”

Despite being genuinely heartbroken from losing Matt, Abbie said that she wouldn’t consider going back to him if he and Chelsie were to break up.

And despite rumours, she also told us that she hasn’t been out on the dating scene with anyone else since filming wrapped up a few months ago.

“It’s been four months, have you been with anyone since the show stopped filming?” Kyle asked.

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“Ah, nah” Abbie said. “No, not as yet. I think I’m just going to take it as it comes. I think I need to get over Matt before I focus on anyone else.”

We do feel sorry for Abbie! Break ups are tough let alone when they happen on national television!

But we have no doubt that she’ll recover over time. In fact, you never know, we may even see Abbie show up on the next season of Bachelor in Paradise!

Hear our full chat with Abbie in the video above.

KIIS 1065 Sydney