A mother-of-six has insisted she isn’t a ‘bad mum’ for regretting having her youngest twin boys.
In 2008, Jeanna Measom was 42 and already a mum of four.
Her youngest kids were with her husband of four years Guy, and she took care of the other two.
She had been breastfeeding her youngest so was not using contraception, especially as she had struggled to fall pregnant with her fourth child.
When she discovered was expecting again, Jeanne was stunned.
The twins are now eight years old, but she says ‘’“I love them – of course I do. But there were days when they were younger that I honestly regretted having them.
“That might make me sound like a bad mum.
“I beg to differ. I’m an honest mother and the truth that no parent of multiples likes to admit is this: having twins is unrelentingly hard work.”
When she realised she was pregnant with twins she had thought about terminating the twins but ‘’“A scan at the hospital showed I was six weeks pregnant.
“While it was early enough to terminate the pregnancy – I realised that I couldn’t go through with it.
“Guy (her husband) agreed. His rationale was simple – what’s one more when you’ve already got four?” A trigger for the thoughts was also finding out the twins as she could not ‘’couldn’t imagine how I was going to get the older kids to school with a toddler and baby twins in tow.”
She said she cried for weeks and got advice from a friend with twins but the pregnancy continued and when she gave birth ‘’“I remember staring at them traumatised and utterly clueless as to how I’d cope with them.”
“One night when they were ten days old, I stood watching them both finally sleeping at the same time,” she recalled.
“Instead of the warm fuzzy feeling of love and pride, I’d felt with my other children regret burnt inside me.
“I asked myself what had I done.
“Had I made the wrong choice in not terminating the pregnancy? I felt guilty for even thinking it.”
She kept expecting the warm and fuzzy feelings to come, but they never came “With my other kids I took endless pictures of them at every stage, but the Twins’ gummy smiles failed to melt my heart,” she said.
“I realised there was just no time for that same emotional attachment.
“I didn’t even give them the luxury of a bath for the first year.
“I was so exhausted, a clean down with wet wipes sufficed.
“When their nappy was changed, their face got a wash – that was it.”
Jeanne then decided she needed to take action and put her four youngest in a creche for a few hours a week, and she has found that has helped get attached.
However, she now keeps the twins separate as they are ‘ying and yang’’ and are in different classes at school.