Sound the alarms: One man claims to have discovered the sure-fire way to getting a Tinder reply, 100 per cent of the time, every time.

Unsurprisingly, not a single d*ck pic is involved; instead, Joe Bagel, a copywriter from Montreal, relies on good old-fashioned… poetry.

And not just any poetry, either. Ready for this?

Acrostic poetry.

Yes we’re serious.

The 25-year-old told The Daily Mail that his unique technique has bagged him 500 responses on the dating app, and 12 dates; sadly, it’s SO effective that Bagel now has to be selective with his wooing.

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“It’s hard, because oftentimes girls will be so enamoured with the poems that they’ll ask you out themselves,” the poor bloke said. “So I’ve had to be more careful about how many poems I send.”

If you’re keen to give it a go, Bagel goes into more detail about his chatting-up on Medium; we reckon you’ve got a few weeks before pretty much everyone else on Tinder/ Bumble/ Grindr is doing it.

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