LIVING IN A SHAREHOUSE IS NEVER EASY, BUT THIS IS NEXT LEVEL
Twitter user @rxdazn posted screenshots of a convo their friend had while applying for a sharehouse in London.
This long fk off reply is actually laughable. The person who posted the ad said they had recently had “a couple of bad flatmates” and the rules were in place to ensure there wasn’t any blurred lines.
If you’re thinking of moving into this sharehouse, these are the rules you need to abide by:
You are not allowed to be in the house between 9am and 5pm on week days as the advertiser works at home and claims they need the house to themselves.
They claim that this shouldn’t be an issue for people that have a “proper job”, adding that university students with changing schedules wouldn’t be considered.
“Students who go to university on random days for a few hours or stay at home all day long and chill out unfortunately can’t live here,” they wrote.
It also looks like anyone who has work shifts at any time other than 9-5 will not be allowed in the house.
The second rule doesn’t sound too unreasonable, with housemates required to be “quiet and considerate”.
You are asked to behave quietly around the house particularly in the early morning and late at night.
Though they do get quite specific with what they mean by “quiet”, specifying the correct way to close or open doors.
“You should use door handles rather than push the doors to slam,” the rule reads.
By moving into this house you would have to agree to limit your contact with friends and family as there are restrictions placed on how long you can be on the phone or Skype.
“I don’t want to hear noise coming from your room all the time,” the potential housemate wrote.
“It doesn’t matter if you talk on Skype/phone ‘quietly’ (or so you think).”
Listening to podcasts, music or movies without headphones was also not allowed, along with laughing loudly after 11pm.
If you are looking for a house where you can have the occasional gathering or even if you just want to spend time watching a movie or cooking with your housemates sometimes then you are going to be disappointed.
On top of not being allowed in the house between 9am and 5pm on weekday, you also aren’t allowed to hang around on weekends.
“I want my new flatmate to be someone who had friends, who goes out to see places, does things like sport etc. If you spend all your free time hanging around the house, streaming TV shows and talking on the phone for hours, we’re not gonna like each other,” the person wrote.
“I don’t want my new flatmate to assume that just because I spend so much time here, it’s OK for them to do the same.”
This is one of the few reasonable sounding rules, with the advertiser stating everyone is expected to pitch in and clean up around the house.
Adding everyone needs to act “mature and civilised” and not like a “bunch of frat boys living on campus”.
As well as having a restriction on noise, housemates also have a limited number of times they can use the toilet.
“If you have to run to the toilet 15 times a day or every 15 minutes, don’t move in here,” they wrote.
“If all you eat is canned beans and cooked lentils and drink beer, you’re not my kind of flatmate. I need someone a little more sophisticated here.”
You are not allowed to cook before 8.30am or after 11pm.
Anyone who likes spending time in the kitchen cooking meals or baking is not welcome in this house.
This is another cleaning rule stating everyone needs to pick up after themselves in shared spaces like the kitchen and bathroom.
Having friends around is fine, but again there is a limit on how much they can be there.
“If you have guests 3 times a week, it’s too much,” the message reads.
“Sometimes you may have a guest coming over for the weekend or a few days 0- that’s fine as long as it’s not every month.”
You’re not allowed to be drunk at the house. You can have some beer and wine in “reasonable amounts” but they don’t want to see people “under the influence”.