Everyone, as far as we’re concerned, needs a personal day every now and then; whether you’re a little fuzzy from impromptu drinks the night before, you simply cannot open your eyes or the idea of spending another eight hours listening to your colleague talk about their ex brings you to tears, there’s nothing better than rolling over and snuggling down when you know the rest of the world is stuck in traffic.

And now – because sometimes the world really is wonderful – experts have figured out the best way, best day and best time for you to make that call to your boss to tell them you’re *cough cough* really sick.

According to Attest, Mondays and Fridays are an absolute no-go, on account of no-one in the history of the world believing you; instead, pick a Tuesday and ring at exactly 6.38am.

(Seriously, a whopping 65 per cent of managers told surveyors that they don’t buy a Monday or Friday phone-in. You have been warned.)

A nice and vague “stomach problems” excuse is your best bet, too, for shutting down any prying questions.

Bizarrely, the least believable excuse for a 24-hour absence is an STD, although, honestly, if someone has the balls to ‘fess to their boss that they’ve chlamydia, surely they deserve the day off?

Now, go forth and chuck sickies.


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