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Gutter Politics: Almost ’Every PM’ Has An Affair Rumour

Welcome back to another session of Gutter Politics where Sam Dastyari dishes the dirt on past and present politicians. Today’s topic: Affairs!

The controversial topic came about after Sam stopped by former Prime Minister Bob Hawke’s house to speak with him and his wife Blanche who got together in what Sam refers to as “the most famous affair between an Australian Prime Minister and another person” as Bob was supposedly married to another woman at the time that he started seeing Blanche.

And so of course, while speaking with the couple, Sam said that it was only natural that the topic of affairs came about. And apparently, Blanche seemed to think that affairs have been rampant throughout parliament for as long as she could remember!

“I think between us, without naming names, there’s been at least a good rumour about every single Prime Minister,” said Sam. “Except for Kevin. I’ve never heard one about Kevin.”

“He’s the exception…and Julia,” replied Blanche. “Those are the only two. Every other Prime Minister going back to WWII, and I don’t know much about them before that, they all had affairs!”

Of course we were shook after hearing this. If these allegations are correct this means there’s affair rumours out there about Tony Abbott, Paul Keating, heck even good ol’ John Howard. And just the thought of this was too much to handle.

“Are you telling me,” said Jackie in shock, “that all the Prime Ministers we know of, during our time, have had affairs?”

“Well let’s just say that what Blanche said, and I’ve heard the same thing too, there is a good rumour or good story for every single Prime Minister…Kevin and Julia kindly exempted,” clarified Sam. “People right now…are having a visual of John Howard having sex, and we’ve just ruined a day for a whole bunch of Australians.”

It should also be noted that Blanche went on to single out Malcolm Turnbull who she said she hadn’t heard a story about…that is while he has been the Prime Minister.

“We’ve got to say there’s never been a suggestion that Malcolm Turnbull has had an affair while he’s been Prime Minister,” she said. Reading between the lines here Sam was quick to point out the emphasis on “while he’s been Prime Minister”.

Now of course having it out there that there’s rumours about the PM’s having affairs is pretty darn good gossip, but we wanted to get down to the more juicy, nitty gritty of the subject.

And so our EP Bruno asked Sam if he would share one of the stories with us without naming any names.

“There is no way I can talk about a Prime Minister of Australia who did someone on the Prime Minister’s Table in the old Parliament House,” revealed Sam on the sly. “I would not do that.”

Hooley Dooley! Parliament appears to be filled with more scandal, gossip and sex than any teenage drama show. They could seriously give Gossip Girl a run for their money!

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