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This Blowjob Retainer Fixes Your Teeth AND Gets Your Man Off

The future is here, and it's made of thermoplastic.

A dentist in Taiwan has combined his love of mouthguards with his love of sex and invented the "Fellatio Retainer", which straightens your smile while you make your boyfriend smile.

Just like the regular retainer your orthodontists sets you up with, this one is specially cast to fit your teeth; unlike your regular retainer, the blowjob brace has added bumps and grooves to give your partner more ~pleasure~.

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Unsurprisingly, the person responsible for the creation is a man.

"With this design no-one knows you love oral sex," Kuang-Yo Ku says. "But in the second part of the project, we change the appearance of the mouth, to show your sexual preference by your appearance."

The soft additions to the roof of the retainer can be personalised, too, to really make sure that your boyfriend's getting the most out of your dentistry.

And Ku has no plans to stop now; he's hoping that biotechnological procedures will advance enough for customers to be able to implant "lumps of human tissue", grown in a lab, straight into a person's mouth, bypassing the need for a mouthpiece at all.

He's also got a female version on the go, saying that he imagines "in the future, people might modify their tongue's width and length for cunnilingus."

We have one, major problem with this.

Anyone who has ever worn a retainer and attempted to say "sizzling sausages" can attest to how unsexy a mouthpiece is.

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If you're still keen for head headgear, check out the video below; it'll ~blow~ your mind.

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