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Bachelor in 60 Secs: Was This The Weirdest Episode Or What

First thing I noticed about the episode, Honey says “the birds are twerking”. Awesome. A solid start to another solid episode, right?

Right…?

Let’s recap.

I wonder if this is going to be the episode where the ladies are subjected to the dreaded ‘is she going to be a good mum test’ but we’re faced with revving engines.  

We cut to Osher and Honey, standing on a motorplex track as two cars come hurtling towards them, Mount Panorama-style. Osher once again getting his heteroflexible vibes on with Honey with his suggestion to hold hands. God, I ship these two so hard.

For some reason, the ladies were going to do two driving challenges: a blindfolded obstacle course and a high-speed handbrake turn.

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So, Bachie fans, we’re at that episode. You know, the one which was left to the weekend production team. As soon as Dasha said she can’t drive a stick, all I could think was that this was the ‘women drivers’ episode.

The winner of this driving challenge wasn’t just to bad some single time with Honey, but they also got a tray of avocados. Wut.

So, wait, was this meant about trust? Because if you want a trust exercise, I suggest, dear reader, rocking up to a Tinder date having actual expectations that they look like their photos.

Dasha, as predicted, left the gearbox in the middle of the road and everyone made gentle fun of her. I’m missing Romy.

Sophie wins the time with Honey, and that box of avocados.

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Back at the mansion, Jamie-Lee gets the single date and Cassie self-destructs.

Jamie-Lee’s date with Honey was Japanese-inspired ‘swordsmanship’. We get that Honey spent some time in Japan with rugby but the whole date was really, um, odd. Like I said, the weekend production crew.

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The other odd thing was their post-date chat. It was awk AF.

Cut to Honey and Jamie-Lee rocking up to the cocktail party after their shit date.

Cassie tried to turn on her inner-Romy when she saw that Jamie-Lee was sans rose.

“Jamie, Jamie, most important question, did you come back with a rose?” she said, looking really excited that Jamie did not, in fact, come back with a rose.

“No, er, ah, yeah, no,” Jamie said.

Tears.

Oh dear.

The awkwardness continued when Honey took Tennille away for a chat at the cocktail party and this issue about Tennille keeping people ‘at arm’s length’, which was highlighted by Steve the Human Lie Detector and overthought until the end of time. It looked grim. Her eyebrows look amazing though.

UGH. More tears. This time, Tennille is crying behind the trellis. The production crew are poised to stop her from getting out. Again.  

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After chatting more with Honey, Tennille decides to stay that side of the fence and go home.

No bitchiness, no craziness, no rose ceremony.

Jamie-Lee’s sigh of relief was felt across Australia.

The best thing about this episode was 10/10 the promo for next week where not only does CASSIE get a goddam single date, she actually says: “If we die, we die together.”

Clearly the regular production crew will be back on board.

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