The Bachelor In 60 Seconds: Keys, Catfights and Cass' Diary
IF YOU MISSED THE EPISODE TONIGHT OR YOU JUST WANT A BIT OF A LAUGH, WE'VE RECAPPED THE WHOLE THING FOR YOU IN 60 SECONDS...
Okay so today's episode was a bloody whirlwind and we think we need to borrow one of the girl's glasses of champers just to get our heads around all the goss that just went down. But basically here's the sitch:
The whole episode is great but the ending is even BETTER! So we're going to cruise on through the first half to get to the juicy stuff that we know you're all dying to hear about.
So first thing's first, Osher does his thing and waltzes into the Bachie mansion unexpectedly to deliver a date card. The clue for this single date says something along the lines of "our paths have crossed before" and immediately everyone assumes the date is going to Cass.
Ya know, the girl who went from zero to Jarrod within five seconds on night one?
Yeah well everyone's hyping her up telling her that it's DEFINITELY her name on the card and she's like "OMG yasss finally some alone time with my man" and then suddenly, the name on the card is read out and it's actually Brittany...You can literally hear Cass's heart shatter into a million pieces through the TV.
Anywho, Brit hops off on her date with Honey Bachie. She meets him at the marina and we're sitting here thinking, 'Damn, Bachie date fund has gone all out this year with the big dosh', thinking that they'll be sailing off on a romantic yacht...
...But no. In comes Honey Bachie on what we can only describe as a motorised dingy. "Hey babe come for a spin on my water Taxi!" Totes not romantic.
But regardless the pair head off, play a game of foot golf (like normal golf but with a soccer ball, because ya know, dwindling bachie funds) before heading back to the Bachie pad for a romantic dip in the pool.
It's here that Brit steals the first REAL kiss of the season! Did ya hear that Romy? This is what a kiss should look like in case you were wondering:
Brit of course snags a rose before heading back to the mansion for the inevitable grilling from the other girls.
Moving onto the group date! All of the girls are invited to play a series of tests with the prize being some much needed alone time with Honey Bachie. It's all kind of fun and games until it's Vanessa Sunshine and Cat from Bali going head to head. Unsurprisingly, things get a bit nasty between these two.
But in the end, Vanessa comes out on top and she has a romantic, one on one with Nick in the garden...or at least that's what it was supposed to be. Did Vanessa lose her voice? She's not answering a single question the Honey Bachie asks her! Like seriously, sweetie, USE YOUR WORDS!
But nup, it's like crickets out there. We swear at one point we saw a tumbleweed role past. But regardless it kinda only makes us love Vanessa Sunshine even more. She's a crack up!
The next morning Brooke finally uses the key to the Bach pad, surprising Nick with breakfast in bed. They chat on a deeper level, play some footy and share a sneaky smooch. And there's some serious chem flying around between these two!
Okay, now for the good part - the cocktail party.
Cass is having a mini meltdown because she has so many feelings for Honey Bachie but doesn't know how to express it. So what does she do? She brings out her god damn dream diary! You know, the one she told Nick she wrote his name in before coming on the show...
Cass is a ball of freaking nerves and we kinda feel sorry for her but like also, where's the popcorn at?!
"Nick, from the moment I first saw you there was this precious moment in time where everything stood still and we locked eyes through the crowd," read Cass. "Fast forward to a few months later where I properly got to meet you and there was a moment of realisation for me that love at first sight could be true.
"From then, everytime I see you I get butterflies and I couldn't be more happy that you're the Bachelor."
Okay, DING DING DING! You can literally see the alarm bells going off in Honey Bachie's mind. He is completely speechless and has pretty much no words apart from "holy moses".
Now don't get us wrong, Cass is a sweet girl but my god we just wish we could take her under our wing and tell her when she's about to make one big giant fool of herself!
But moving on. Right before the rose ceremony we have one last catfight. Cat from Bali starts by bagging out Vanessa Sunshine before turning her claws on poor old Shannon for nothing but the fact that she defended Vanessa!
Seriously, this girl is like Regina George 2.0 and we can't wait to see the back end of her.
Now, rose ceremony time, it's Kayla (pool girl from episode one), Christina (one of the blondes) and Cayla (the one we thought was a loony but turned out to be our fav person ever) who didn't receive a rose.
But Cayla doesn't leave without one final hurrah and this is why we LOVE her! She literally pulls Honey Bachie aside and tells him who the mean girls are in the house. This makes us SO. DAMN. HAPPY!
Enjoy your days in the house while they last Cat and Romy...God bless ya Cayla!
The Honey Badger Quote Of the night: "I'm gonna put the shaz back in shazam